Conquering Fears

“Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying” – Tim McGraw

Before reading this blog entry, I highly recommended you type “Live like you were dying” by the above artist into YouTube and listen to this song, as it sort of captures my motto here in Australia and certainly this past weekend’s activities.

As some of you may know, I’m absolutely terrified of heights. I don’t like driving over bridges, standing on roofs, looking down off a high building, ect., so naturally I decided skydiving was a good idea. It’s number one on my Australia bucket list, and everything is opposite here so it made sense to me that I should face whatever I was afraid of. I was set on booking skydiving, and when a few of my friends were interested I jumped (pun!) at the chance to go this past Saturday.

Friday night, I promised myself I wouldn’t drink too much for the obvious reason that I was going to be jumping 9,000 ft out of a plane the next morning. Of course I proceeded to get rather drunk, wake up the next morning, still drunk, and thought “Shit I’m jumping out of a plane today”.  At that point in time, I thought this was really funny until about halfway through our bus ride, where my laughter slowly turned to dread and a sense of doom (and the onset of a hangover), and then once we arrived at Byron Bay Skydiving, Australia’s #1 skydiving company, I felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety and fear. We walked into their little office, filled with videos and pictures of people free falling in midair, and I felt the first wave of reality hit. I panicked; I said, “Nope, not doing this” and turned around to leave, but my friend Campbell grabbed me and dragged me back, saying, “Yes, you are”.

For the next three hours while we waited for our turn (after we signed forms waiving our life away), we watched people “falling from the sky”, as my friend Angie said. They were too high to see at first, miniscule dots in the air, and then all of a sudden you would see brightly colored parachutes swirling and twisting in the air. “That’s gonna be me”, I thought, and the fear was beyond anything I’ve ever felt before. I thought about my life and how happy I was, and the fact that this was the craziest thing I have ever done.

Soon enough, we were up and after a brief training session on what we were supposed to do when we jumped and landed, we were hustled onto the plane. We did a tandem skydive, meaning you are attached to someone else and they release the parachute, but you were supposed to lean back and stick your hips out to form a “banana” shape to make it easier for them. My partner for this, whose name I don’t remember so we’ll just call him Josh, was a jaunty, upbeat middle age guy. Upon introducing ourselves I promptly confessed that I was scared out of my mind. As we climbed the plane, my whole body started to shake and Josh hugged me and gave me a motivational speech and said phrases of encouragement.

Once the plane took off however, I felt a sort of calm, in a way. Everything was out of my hands, I was no longer in control of anything, of my life, and ironically I have never felt more free. There’s something peaceful about being aware that there’s absolutely nothing you can do anymore, which sounds strange, I realize, but that’s the best way I can describe it. Josh may have sensed this from the look on my face because he said, “that’s right love, let go”. And I did, partially because this man was in charge of my life and I had no choice but to listen to him, but also because I really felt detached from everything – I was no longer grounded (literally), in other words.

The view was incredible. As we climbed higher and higher, I looked out onto beautiful golden beaches and bright blue ocean and a backdrop of forest green mountains in the distance. Absolutely amazing. And then, before I knew it, they were opening the chute to release us. My friend Kristina was going first, I was going second. I watched her partner scoot her up to the very edge of the plane, her whole body was outside the plane with her legs curled under – and then all of a sudden they fell forward and she disappeared into the sky. And in that moment – that was when my stomach jumped to my throat and my heart started pounding so hard I thought it was going to explode. I’ve truly never been more afraid in my entire life, but before I even had time to think, Josh was pushing me forward.

“Deep breaths, deep breaths and SMILE! This is going to be fun”, Josh said, as he thrusted me out of the plane and my whole body was hanging in midair while he sat on the very edge. I wasn’t aware of anything at that time except intense panic, although my friend Dean said I had a look of “pure terror and absolute fear” on my face. Before I could react, Josh rocked us forward and we fell into the sky. The next few seconds were a blur – we tumbled, flipped in the air and fell forward, through clouds, and I remember screaming but not hearing anything, as the wind overpowered any sound. But then we were hovering midair, still free falling (the parachute hadn’t been released at this point) but I felt motionless. I’m telling you, it was the most insane feeling – just free falling in the sky but not really feeling like you were falling.  I couldn’t even see the ground at this point, just pure blue sky and crazy winds. I got a tap on the shoulders from Josh, meaning I could let go of my harness and spread my arms out wide. When I did this, I no longer felt any sense of fear and I really truly felt free, alive. If this is the closest thing to flying, it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced.

Supposedly we were free falling for 25 seconds, but it felt a lot less than that, or maybe longer, all sense of time was lost. Then I felt the pull and tug upward, as Josh released the parachute. At this point, he started to loosen me from him a little to make it more comfortable as we had been tightly bound to each other. So tightly, in fact, it felt like the buckles were going to pop off. I forgot that he had warned me he was going to loosen me, however, and as I felt him undoing buckles I panicked and screamed “DON’T LET GO OF ME!!!!” I caught my breath when I remembered what he was doing, and we laughed about it and made conversation as we floated downwards. All my anxiety was gone at this point and I was overcome with the view – Josh pointed out the names of the mountains in the distance, the highest one being Mount Warning, which Ben and I camped at later that night and hiked to the summit the following morning. Mount Warning is the highest peak of eastern Australia, and the first part of this side of the world to receive sunlight. Josh pointed down to whales in the ocean below us, which were flipping over on their sides and spewing water into the air. I couldn’t believe it – we were thousands of feet above the ground and yet I was loving every second. “Welcome to my office”, Josh said, gesturing to the beautiful, amazing scenery and incredible view. I will never ever forget that feeling of complete bliss and appreciation for the wonderful world around me.

After at least a few minutes, if not longer, we got closer and closer to the ground, and I could make out cars and houses that still looked like small toys from the distance. As we approached the landing, Josh told me to bring my legs up and stretched them out. Suddenly we were coming down fast and before I knew it, I was on the ground again. At this point, I jumped up to hug Josh and thank him profusely for bringing me back alive. Kristina and I high fived our survival and watched the rest of our friends descent. For the next few hours, we were all high on life – recounting our experience over and over again and feeling euphoric at our success.

I will never ever forget skydiving. It was the most incredible thing I have ever done, and the best experience of my life. For anybody who is thinking about it, I strongly recommend it. There’s nothing like a little adrenaline rush and risking your life to make you really really appreciate being alive.

The rest of the weekend was also heaps of fun. I met up with Ben and we camped at the base of Mount Warning, as I said above. It was wonderful to be in the woods and hear nothing but birds and insects and all the sounds of the wild. We made a campfire and looked at the stars and I felt peaceful and calm and truly truly happy with my life. The next morning we hiked the 8K up to the summit, which was a pretty steep incline and at the end you literally had to rock climb, using a chain they had added for support. It was pretty tough but the view was worth it – absolutely beautiful, and even crazier was the fact that I had seen it from thousands of feet above ground the day before. Also at top of the mountain, people were gathered around a Python snake, all curled up. I jumped, frightened, this being my first time seeing a Python, or certainly in the wild, at least. For Ben however, this was more of less a regular thing, and on the way back down he pointed out another one right off the side of the trail. This one was awake, however, and I freaked out, running down the trail at full sprint, which Ben pointed out wouldn’t save me anyway. He told me not to worry though, because apparently pythons don’t go after humans but like to squeeze and suffocate other animals. I decided I didn’t like snakes.

Overall it was a fulfilling, action packed weekend, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I realize that I never updated about my Whitsunday Islands sailing adventure, so I would like to talk about that real fast. I know this post is getting pretty long but hang with me for a bit longer. The Whitsunday trip was a blast – we arrived Thursday afternoon in Ariel beach, a typical beach town with lots of seaside bars and not a whole lot else. We spent a night in a backpackers, which was my first experience with a hostel. It was quite pleasant – the rooms were big and there were a few bunk beds in each, with hammocks and a swimming pool outside. Not bad. That night we also bar hopped and found some pretty sweet outdoor bars with live music. The next morning we made our way to the docks, where we met up with Wings 3, the boat company where we would be spending the next 3 days and 2 nights. Our boat consisted of 25 people, including me and my five friends, the 3 crew members, and a bunch of international couples who were travelling around. We made friends with an Irish couple who told me I made the right choice by studying abroad here rather than Ireland because of the gorgeous weather.

The Whitsundays are comprised of 70 different islands, all uninhabited, located on the very southern part of the Great Barrier Reef. Over the next 3 days, we sailed around to different islands and anchored the boat at various bays. We put on wetsuits and snorkelled a few times, all right on the reef, which was really really cool. I saw all sorts of coral and schools of fish and swam close to sea turtles! We took hikes along the beautiful, pure silicon beaches. I’ve never seen sand so purely white and water so light blue. Back on the boat, we would hang around the hot tub and have a drink or two, while being fed some of the best food I’ve had here. They took really good care of us. We watched sunsets, and for those of us who don’t do well with sleeping and motion, we got to see some sunrises too. It was a really fun trip and a wonderful experience – the Whitsundays is probably the most beautiful place I’ve ever been to, and for anybody who is travelling to Australia I recommend doing a boat tour around it. I chose that over Cairns, the other Great Barrier Reef destination, because it was less touristy and more beautiful and I don’t regret it.

This weekend the adventures continue! We are going to Tasmania (or Tassie, as Aussies call it), the hiking aka “bushwalking” destination of the world! I’m really excited, it’s supposed to have some spectacular scenery. We will be doing a bunch of hikes as well as a 3-hour zipline through a rainforest, along with other activities.

I really, really love my life.

Cheers,

Emily

Welcome to the good life

I've been here a bit over a month now. Crazy. On the one hand, I feel like I’ve been here forever. I’ve more or less settled into a sort of routine here, as much as I can be with all the traveling I’m doing. It is also speeding by rather fast, which scares me because I never want to leave. I’m in this paradise where I’m so happy all the time and life is too good, and I don’t want to go back. However, one of the most important things I’ve learned with this study abroad experience is to really, fully live in the moment – not to look too far forward or back, but just appreciate the present and the now.

And I really do feel, truly, like I’m living. Back home at school (George Washington aka GW) I go through the daily motions in some sort of sleep deprived zombie state, constantly stressed, always tired. I get maybe 3 to 5 hours of sleep a night, I take sleeping pills, wake up really groggy and stumble through the day. I spend most nights at the library and I study constantly. I don’t always eat well, I can’t exercise everyday. I stress and worry about grades and the future to no end, and at times get really overwhelmed.

Here at Bond, life couldn’t be more different. I haven’t been stressed at all, not once. Even when my wallet got stolen, I sort of just went through the process of filing a police report and going to various banks to get cards back. It didn’t upset me though, the way I would have freaked out at home – and that made things a lot easier. It’s got to be this atmosphere – you don’t see anyone stressed, really, ever. I mean, how can you be, when the beach is 30 minutes walk away, there’s a pool and hot tub outside your room, and the weather is beautiful and people are friendly? Nope, the motto here is “no worries”, and I gotta say, I’m loving it. I prefer this kind of lifestyle.  

School isn’t particularly stressful either, at least not yet, but so far things have been pretty manageable. I haven’t spent any time in the library yet, for one thing. Nor have I bought a book – conveniently a lot of my friends are in my classes so we take turns checking them out of the library or split the cost. It’s much more affordable, and my priorities are not really about the books anyway, lets be honest. However, we are on a trimester system here, which means that the work is piling up pretty fast. It’s the end of week 4, and we have 12 weeks and then 2 weeks of exams, so I’m already 1/3 of the way through. Unlike classes back home, there are usually two forms of assignments per class, rather than various assignments spread out. My lit classes for example, are an essay and a final test and my other classes are a midterm and final. That’s it. So it’s more pressure to do well, but less work in between, which is nice. Overall way less work than what I’m used to.

Additionally, I have found that I prefer the way classes work here. Part of that might have to do with the fact that I’m in class a lot less, and I’m even earning more credits! WIN. Most classes are divided into two-hour lectures and an hour tutorial, so 3 hours total per class per week. I actually really love the tutorials, or tuts, as they call them here. They are small, group based discussion classes, which means that even if you are in a 30 or 40 person lecture class, you still get the one on one attention during your tut, which at most has 8 to 10 people. I haven’t had that kind of small class atmosphere since high school, and I forgot how much I love it. It means too that you get to discuss the material you learned in lecture, which helps me learn it a lot easier and become more engaged in it.

I also find that I am more alert in class, although after 2 hours I tend to zone out – but they usually give you a break. This is probably because I’m getting about 9 to 11 hours of sleep a night. It’s amazing. I’m not having trouble sleeping either – I brought sleeping pills with me but have yet to take them. I did a research project for one of my psych classes about how stress and sleep go hand in hand, lack of sleep causes stress and stress causes poor sleep quality – and being here is a true validation of that.

I’m also exercising quite regularly. I wear athletic shorts and a tee shirt to class most days, which I love. It’s refreshing to see other people doing this too, rather than the groups of sorority girls and frat boys wearing their letters. Granted, I’m in both a frat (honors) and a sorority (community service) and I wear letters too so I can’t really talk, but I enjoy the fact that Greek life is nonexistent here. I’m running a lot, almost every day, and then I’ll usually do some other work out in addition, whether that means beach volleyball or group fitness classes. The classes here are free, which is awesome, and so far I’ve done cycling and a strength class, after which I was sore for days but it felt so good. And I can really feel myself getting stronger too. I love feeling fit and in shape, not to mention that everyone here is fit and in shape, so you sort of stand out if you aren’t. Two of my friends and I signed up to play “social” beach volleyball every Wednesday, which is actually more competitive than social and kinda hard but great fun! Although I am again reminded why I don’t play contact sports, since my hand eye coordination is a bit off and I continue to aim towards hitting people rather than over the net…oops. 

The food isn’t bad either. I’m on a meal plan, which is quite new to me because at GW we don’t have such a thing and just have money on a card to use where you want, when you want. While this is certainly more convenient, I have to say I’ve enjoyed having a cafeteria, mainly because you can always find someone you know there. It’s nice to have meals together and it’s where everyone reconvenes after the day. There’s a community sort of feel to it, and I like it.

Similarly, Thursday nights are really big here. Everyone goes to this bar on campus, called Don’s, and then we all get on a bus to one of the local nightclubs in the area. Back home, I hate clubbing. You won’t find me in a club, ever. I refuse to go, and when I do, I am miserable the whole time and no fun to be around. Here, however, it’s a bit different. For one thing, the entire school is together practically, which makes it a lot more fun. The atmosphere too is a lot better – just overall a better experience. I’ve also been to a few different pubs/bars, which is more my scene, but I’ve generally had a much more fun going out – being legal probably adds to this too.

I’ve spent other week nights with one of my Australian friends, Ben, who picks me up and we’ll go for a driving lesson, or a walk on the beach or by the lake, or to dinner or something. He’s been teaching me how to drive stick shift, which I am SLOWLY getting the hang of – it’s much trickier than I expected, especially with the gear being on the left side and driving on the left side. Fortunately he’s very patient and does not panic when I stall his car or go on the right side…which has happened frequently. I’m getting more used to it, but boy do I have appreciation now for automatic cars.

Last weekend, Ben and I went camping at this hippie beach town called Byron Bay, which is a blast from the 60’s basically. There are hippie vans, colors everywhere, guys with dreadlocks playing guitar on the beach, Rastafarian hats. Wearing a suit or a fancy dress would make you stick out like a sore thumb – like that time I wore a bright orange dress to an emo concert (thanks tori). You get the sense too, that time sort of stops in Byron. People, if possible, are even more laid back – the first night we camped illegally (we didn’t know this at the time) and around 10 am when we were packing up, a guy came up to us and explained that it was private property. For a second I thought he might fine us or call the police, but all he said was “you should have left earlier”. Ben showed me around and we climbed up to a lighthouse, where the most easterly point of Australia’s mainland is located. It was a pretty sweet view – the lighthouse gave us a 360-degree view of the surrounding ocean, beach, and backdrop of mountains on one side. Absolutely beautiful, even for rainy weather. We also managed to see some whales! Ben brought his binoculars so we got to see a mom and baby whale (we guessed) swimming side by side, in full detail as they flipped over on their stomachs or flapped their tails. And oh my gosh the stars – so many, so amazing, so beautiful. I never get to see stars like that back in Jersey suburbs and in the city of DC. Ben and I made a campfire and just watched the sky for a few hours and it was incredible.

I’ve also explored the Gold Coast area and done some things locally, like going to the Curimbin Wildlife Sanctuary, where I learned that getting to hold a Koala and pet a Kangaroo is the best possible way to cure a hangover. Also, Koala’s are smelly but oh so so cute. All they do is sleep, eat, and hang in trees all day – pretty sweet life. Otherwise, there are numerous shopping areas and beach towns. The Gold Coast is technically a city, but it doesn’t have that urban feel to it at all – it’s more divided into different beach towns along the coast. You’ve got Surfer’s Paradise, where all the nightclubs are and it’s a bit tackier but has a lot more shops. Then Broadbeach, which is like Surfer’s but more upscale. Finally, you have my favorite – Burleigh Heads – which is more like a national park sort of, with trails along the beach and a lot of rocks to climb. I like that the Gold Coast is more spread out and Bond itself is located in its own area, which is nice because you still have access to everything via bus but its closed off too. It’s a nice break from being in DC, and I don’t miss it much to be honest. I needed a break away from the city.

I feel like I am being very critical of GW right now, and that’s not what I’m trying to do. I love love love my friends at school and miss them terribly. I love the things I’m involved in and the opportunities I’ve had. I may hate the bureaucracy of the school itself (ahem certain offices), but generally I’ve had a good experience there. The point I’m trying to make is that Bond is everything I wanted that GW isn’t – it’s been the break I needed desperately and so much more than that. And truly, I couldn’t be happier.

Now I’m off to a sailing adventure in the Whitsunday Islands! Welcome to the good life.

Cheers,

Emily